Thursday, January 10, 2008

Seriously, do I look like a criminal?

Today was a day just like any day. I decided that I'd walk a couple blocks down the street to grab a sandwich at Quiznos. Nothing abnormal about that. So I put on my gray jacket and headed out the door. It was cold, so I pulled my hood over my head. Nothing abnormal about that. But as I walked down the street I started to notice something wasn't normal. There were cop cars all over the place. Everywhere I turned, there was a cop car parked with police searching the area. Obviously, something was amiss.

"Hmm, well that's weird," I thought. "Oh well, whatever."

I walked into Quiznos and ordered the Honey Mustard Chicken sandwich. Regular size. As I waited for my sub to make its way through the oven, little did I know what was formulating outside.

Once I had my sandwich in hand, it was back to the office. Or so I thought. As I stepped out onto the sidewalk, a flurry of police officers surrounded me and yelled at me to hold still. One of the officers quickly grabbed my shoulders to make sure I didn't run. The other officers got around from behind to block a possible rear escape.

The officer clicked the radio on his shoulder, "We got him. We've apprehended the suspect."

The suspect?

OFFICER: What are you doing, son?

ME: Getting a sandwich.

OFFICER: Oh yeah, got any ID?

ME: Sure.

I presented my Utah driver's license.

OFFICER: Utah, huh? What are you doing here?

ME: I live here. I work right there.

I pointed to the large building where I work right down the street.

OFFICER: Oh yeah? Where's "right there?"

I pointed again.

ME: Right there.

OFFICER: What's the address of your work?

(NOTE: At this point, it was actually quite comical, cause our office street number is displayed on the side of the building in huge, black numbers. Clearly visible from much farther down the street.)

ME: Um, see right there? 6450 Gunpa...

OFFICER: Uh huh. Where do you live then?

ME: Longmont.

OFFICER: And what are you doing out here?

I believe it became obvious to the other officers that my story checked out and that they had mistaken me for someone else. Another officer approached and took over. He radioed to the group, "Suspect not apprehended."

OFFICER 2: Someone thought they saw you get out of the suspect's vehicle and walk over here. Sorry about this, it's just a formality, we have to check everyone, you know? Plus, with your hood up like this you looked suspicious.

ME: Oh, okay. I get it. But if I were on the run from the law, do you really think I'd stop to get a sandwich?

My attempt at some light after-the-fact humor was met with a stern brow and a wrinkled mustache. So I scurried on my way. The spectators and police officers cleared the scene and went back to work.

I pulled the hood off of my head and quickly helped an old lady cross the street.

UPDATE: My story made the NEWS.


Blogger AzĂșcar said...

Officers have no sense of humor. None at all. If they did, they couldn't become a police officer.

9:28 PM

Blogger AzĂșcar said...

p.s. my favorite part: "Suspect Not Apprehended."

9:29 PM

Blogger Cardine said...

Great story!

10:57 AM

Blogger Hannemann Family said...

That is HILARIOUS!!!

3:13 PM

Blogger Hailey Happens said...

I am scared.

6:45 PM

Blogger K19 said...

Great story! Congrats on making the front page!

7:38 PM

Blogger K19 said...

Even funnier- read some of the comments listed after the NEWS story!

7:41 PM

Blogger more caffeine, please said...

Did you get frisked? Ouch.

7:33 PM

Blogger Doug said...

hahahaha! only you my man

4:37 PM

Blogger ~j. said...

Just a formality.


I understand people not getting the after-the-fact lightheartedness. Boo.

2:59 PM

Blogger Dustin said...


9:24 PM


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