At the risk of sounding like a bad stand-up comedian, I'm still going to make this post. Unlike said comedian, to me, this isn't a stand-up bit, but a real question, concern, and issue. And with that, I would ask that you treat it with the appropriate level of seriousness and concern.

What's the deal with pants?

Specifically, why are they referred to in the plural form?

Example sentence: "Oh Monica, those pants are like so stellar on you."

Clearly, the pant is one embodiment of fabrics and threads and thus is being misrepresented by the popular designation. Take for example, socks. By their very nature, they travel in packs of two, thereby earning them the correct plural status. Meanwhile, there is the shirt. Just like the pant, it is one embodiment of fabric and whatnot, and yet we respect it by referring to it in the singular. Shirt.

Now I don't want to cause a global stink here, but I just can't turn a blind eye to this massacre of civility. It is my intention to use the proper singular nomenclature from now on. It is my prayer that you'll do the same. Except in the case of leather pants. They don't deserve any respect.