Monday, December 04, 2006

The following apologies are applicable as of the night of November 28th.

Mrs. Steve Happens (Hailey). I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm such a deep sleeper.

I'm sorry the garage door that we use to get in and out of the house decided to malfunction, thus not allowing your usual entry late Tuesday night.

I'm sorry it was only six degrees outside that night.

I'm sorry you didn't wear a coat.

I'm sorry you were wearing heels.

I'm sorry the key you had didn't work either.

I'm sorry I didn't hear you pounding on the door for forty minutes.

Or the 27 missed calls to my cell phone.

Or the other 27 missed calls on our home phone.

I'm sorry our neighbor came outside to let his dog out. And in doing so, saw you crying.

I'm sorry he had to hear my name associated with so many select profanities.

I'm sorry you broke your cell phone.

From throwing it violently at our second-floor bedroom window.

I'm sorry it took a good five hucks to startle me from my deep sleep.

(Again, I'm sorry I'm such a deep sleeper.)

I'm sorry that by the time I finally woke up and let you in, your toes were a deep purple.

And your fingers had lost all sense of feeling.

I'm sorry I had the ceiling fan on in our bedroom, strictly for quintessential comfort.

I'm sorry I fell back into the arms of Morpheus within minutes.

I'm sorry that I'm bald and "filling out a bit in the face."

It'll never happen again.



'cept for the bald part.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Mrs. Steve happens said...

To Mr. Steve Happens
I am sorry I am married to such a lame husband that will sleep through anything causing my feet to have frostbite and to drop the "f" bomb a few times in front of the poor neighbor that had to get his 12 ft. ladder and trapse out in the snow so I could knock on the window and awaken my husband that who I still believe wasn't as asleep as he claims . Yes, I am the one who is sorry

8:12 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and on a lighter note...

One of the great things about America is that so many people have the time and resources to pursue their dreams. You strike me as someone who might enjoy this.

~Julia
Ps: hi Haily! Sorry your toes froze off!

8:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the Babcocks. This made me warm and fuzzy inside (sorry Hailers). And why did you throw your phone at the window instead of one of the 10,000 pebbles in your landscaping?

8:53 PM

 
Blogger AzĂșcar said...

Oh Hailey, I feel your pain. My spouse is completely useless once he's fallen asleep. Useless. I always thought I'd feel more secure if he was sleeping next to me. One night, when I thought I heard an intruder, it was completely impossible to wake him up! Took care of that stupid pipedream.

10:00 PM

 
Blogger Cardine said...

Sometimes I sleep very deeply. One time my YM/YW group went on a trip. I had only slept 3 hours in the past 50 or so hours, so when I slept in the car, I slept. The young men fed me one of those grandma cookies, and I spit it out, all without waking up. When I finally woke, there was a gross slobbery cookie next to my face and partially in my hair. Ew!

I hope that you have been able to get sufficiently warm, Mrs. Steve Happens. That sounds like a really horrible experience!

1:35 PM

 
Blogger ~j. said...

Mrs. Steve extra-deserves big BIG presents this year.

Hey...the neighbor made you climb a ladder while wearing heels? Hm. Lump of coal.

9:51 PM

 

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