Monday, May 28, 2007

In doing a lot of flying back and forth this month, I've become familiar with the following terms:

DESCENT TINKLE - The sudden urge to pee induced by the pilots informing the cabin of their plans to descend to the destination.

FLIGHT VOCAB INTOLERANCE - The absolute malice felt towards words like "placard." Just call it a sign already.

PRESSURE ALE - Be honest, when else do you drink ginger ale?

LAME ICE BREAKERS - When, even though you know it's lame, you still decide to ask the person next to you, "Are you coming or going?" This goes into the annuals of such horrible ice breakers as "What's your major?" and "Come here often?"

TOO COOL - Even though the flight crew politely asks you to open up the safety card in the seat pocket in front of you and follow along, you just can't do it (for no other reason than you feel it will make you look uncool).

PANIC MOMENT - The feeling you experience during that very nano-second that your eyes send the signals to your brain connecting the number of your seat and the highly unattractive person sitting right next to it.

PRACTICALLY DRAWN ON - The guy in the United Airlines safety video who has the most perfectly-shaped goatee possible.

THE STAND AND WAIT - As soon as the plane stops at the dock, the desire to instantly stand up - as if you are even going to be able to move off the plane for another ten to fifteen minutes.

LAVATORY FRIGHT - The scared sensation you get just before you flush the toilet on the plane because you can't help but wonder if that story you heard when you were a kid about the lady who got all her innards sucked out of the plane cause she flushed while sitting down was really true.


Blogger Julia said...

lav fright--definitely true.
great observations steve!
~julia...friendly neighborhood flight attendant

7:50 AM

Blogger robothate said...

Lavatory Fright for me is like I can't wee wee... a.k.a. stage fright from my neen.

10:59 PM

Blogger AzĂșcar said...

I still have a colostomy bag due to Lav Fright...

10:44 AM


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