Do the sideburns stay or do they go?

In three days I will board a flight back to my family in Utah. While my two little children will offer open arms regardless of my appearance, something tells me the Mrs. won't be so liberal in her embrace - that is if I still have these homeless man sideburns going on. But perhaps I am mistaken. Perhaps these burns are nothing short of amazingly sexy. Who knows? So I offer the issue to you, oh blogland. Do the chops stay or do they go? And why?