Last night I realized something terrible. I've become a winker. Yes, a winker.
I discovered this ghastly gesticulation last night while ordering a sandwich from Arby's. A portly fellow, probably in his late 30's, handed me my meal with a rhetorical, "have a nice day," and that's when it happened. I replied with a smile and a wink. It was so inadvertent, that I didn't even notice. But Hailey did.
HAILEY: Did you just wink at him?
ME: Wink? Wha?
And that's when it hit me. I had winked at him. And while it was completely unintentional, it left me utterly disturbed. This sent my mind racing. I thought to myself, "How long has this been going on?" Suddenly my mind filled with vivid instances of previous winkery. How did I become a winker? I mean, in order to be a winker you have to be over 65, wear slippers and jumpsuits, and enjoy Matlock reruns.
ME: Crap. I think I did.
HAILEY: That's creepy.
ME: Well, I didn't...
HAILEY: Like molester creepy.
ME: Whoa, wha?
posted by : STEVE : at 6:50 PM
4 Comments:
You can counteract the winking by growing a pencil-thin mustache. Oh, no, that would add to the molester0vibe...
9:48 AM
Hailey should like winkers - isn't Keith a winker? AND he as a 'stash! And let's not forget Fast Eddy...
2:25 PM
At least it hasn't developed into the "Tassie Twitch" wherein you, like the majority of all residents of Tasmania over the age of about 35, respond to everyone with a twitch of the head, a wink and a slight clicking noise made by the tongue and teeth. No matter what anyone says to you in a greeting or goodbye or question, you respond with the twitch.
It's too frightening for me to continue describing. I think I need to lay down.
12:52 AM
i have to tell you that i can attest to the fact that you are, indeed, a winker. as i have been on the receiving end of said wink a few times...
3:32 PM
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