Hello 2006.

First of all, my condolences go out to the cashiers of the world. For the next few weeks, they will play subject to the following conversation.

CUSTOMER: Oh my! I accidentally wrote 2005 on my check.

CASHIER: Oh.

CUSTOMER: I can't believe it's already 2006.

CASHIER: Yeah.

CUSTOMER: What happened to 2005? *light chortle*

CASHIER: *charity chortle*

Fortunately, I can shed some light on an otherwise infernal conundrum. I have developed a system that once applied, will bring peace to both customer and cashier. I call it the Line-A-Nator.


PROBLEM
Financial advisors, professionals, and scientists recommend the use of ink as opposed to graphite when filling out a check, (or cheque if you wear fancy shoes). The reason for this is that graphite can be erased with relative ease and thus makes for effortless alteration. Ink, however, is permanent and thereby thwarts potential tampering. But what happens when you accidentally write the wrong date, specifically the year? Is the check wasted? Is it no good? Is it to receive the dreaded four capital letters written aggressively (and usually with a slight diagonal) across it? Thanks to the Line-A-Nator, not anymore.

EXHIBIT A


Waste not that chegue (I'm wearing fancy shoes). Thanks to my one-step program, that form of currency does not have to be forfeited. By simply adding a vertical stroke to the lower left side of the five, you create the appearance of a six.

EXHIBIT B


As you can see, like a harbinger of peace, the Line-A-Nator has cuddled the problem like a frightened child and soothed it to a blissful slumber. Now, make no mistake about it. I did not develop the Line-A-Nator for commercialization. And I'm not about to exploit its market value. No, in fact, this intellectual property is yours to keep, for free. Use it now and you'll also receive a lack of embarrassment, at no extra cost. Also, if you act fast, you'll receive the VibraComb - a stimulating way to style your hair. Offer good while supplies last. *Note: Supplies did not last.

That's a total value of a probably, like a billion dollars.