Forgive me, bloggers, for I have slacked.

Make no mistake about it. I have a clear understanding of the commitment one makes when establishing an interweb blog portal homepage on the net highway. I fully realize said commitment includes the responsibility to keep one's blog current. If a person goes for weeks on end without an update, they should not be surprised when their neglect sparks fits of retaliation from his/her readers. A relationship based on love and praise will quickly turn into a bloodbath of malice and violence. And throat punches. In the face.

Now, I wish not for bodily harm to be situated upon my feeble frame. It is for this reason that I offer this sincere, heart-felt apology. To illustrate my sincerity, I've provided the following list of life-lessons I've learned over the past couple of weeks. They are yours, at no extra cost.

- While moving into a new house can be exciting, it can also suck goats.

- Trying to paint the majority of the interior of a new house in one night with only three people is impossible.

- Getting stung by a hornet while carrying a very heavy gas grill has unpleasant results.

- Deciding to take down a hornet nest with a broom is stupider than ten stupid things.

- Spraying hornet killer from a good 20 feet away can give a stung man a much-needed sense of retaliation.

- Verbally taunting the nest as you spray it adds a sense of accomplishment.

- Hearing dead hornet carcasses fall from their nest and hit the hard wood of the deck is the sweetest music known to man.

- Realizing there is another, larger nest under the deck can defeat a man.

- Getting stung again, this time on the arm, has unpleasant results.

- A larger yard = more mowing time. Unpleasant results.

- Wearing the same outfit (yes, including undies) for three days straight because all of your other clothes are in boxes somewhere has unpleasant results.

- Trax = good people watching, not to mention a nice way to get to and from work.

- Hairs woven into carpets are just hairs, unless they are someone else's. Then they are unpleasant results.

- Installing crown molding is a lot more difficult than it looks.

- Beware, lest your eyes deceive you. What appears to be a 90 degree angle is not.

- The lady at home depot pronounces the word, "caulk" in a very provocative way. Uncomfortable results.

- Getting three months of Comcast On-Demand when you've been used to having five channels can cause sensory overload.

- Ice makers in fridges have pleasant results.

- Having a shower sans kid toys in it is a privilege and should never be taken for granted.

- It is very difficult not to snicker when telling friends to turn off Johnson Way onto Nutwood Circle and you'll find the Babcock residence.