Friday, June 01, 2007

Welcome to the Steve Happens Show, our first guest is?

That's right, folks. It's high time I invited a guest blogger on this show. Said guest will be given one post to post whatever they want. To apply, simply answer the following questions in the comment section of this post. The guest blogger will be accepted based on said answers.

1. Do you consider yourself "Mature for your age?"

2. What was the last time you threw up, and what was it?

3. Did you have a childhood attachment such as a blanket, pillow or favorite toy? If so, what did you call it?

4. If TV's Charles in Charge were to find himself in an altercation with TV's Fred Savage, who do you think would win?

5. If you were asked to wear a hot pink dress to a wedding reception, would you accept said invitation?

6. Am I balder than you? And is balder a word?

7. On the Lost season finale last week, whose funeral did Jack attend (albeit he was late)?

8. Do you (or did you) ever like the band, Collective Soul?

9. If you do/did like Collective Soul, are you ashamed of it?

10. What's something you've never told anybody before?


BONUS (NOT MANDATORY, BUT HIGHLY ENCOURAGED)

In the traditional form of Japanese Haiku, tell me why you should be the guest blogger. (Note: A Haiku is seventeen total syllables in three lines. The first line has five, the second line has seven, and the third line has five.)

10 Comments:

Anonymous Speide Bahl said...

1. If you consider being brilliant and 100% self-reliant from the moment I was born, mature...then, yes.

2. I don't throw up...and if I did, I'd eat it to make myself stronger and also to punish myself for weakness.

3. I didn't have a childhood.

4. Screech.

5. I don't go to gay weddings...or gay wedding receptions.


6.My thick flat top suggests you are much balder than I.

7. I only watch Fox News and Christian porn.

8. Collective Soul? That sounds like some commie stuff for blacks. No way.

9. Die commie blacks.

10. Paying child support is a sign of male weakness.

We didn't win the big one so I could recite Japanese poetry...they should be reciting cowboy poetry for our amusement if you ask me.

9:52 PM

 
Blogger Matt said...

1. Do you consider yourself "Mature for your age?"I am really immature.

2. What was the last time you threw up, and what was it? Early today. It was Red iguana shrimp quasdilia.

3. Did you have a childhood attachment such as a blanket, pillow or favorite toy? If so, what did you call it?It was a broken laser tag gun. I loved it. The batterys didn't even work in it.

4. If TV's Charles in Charge were to find himself in an altercation with TV's Fred Savage, who do you think would win? So the tv character charlies against a real life fred savage. Duh Savage would win because he isn't a tv character.

5. If you were asked to wear a hot pink dress to a wedding reception, would you accept said invitation?
Yes I would
6. Am I balder than you? And is balder a word?
You are more bald on your head but have facial hair I am jealous of. Balder is a word in my dictionary.

7. On the Lost season finale last week, whose funeral did Jack attend (albeit he was late)?
Horays
8. Do you (or did you) ever like the band, Collective Soul?
Yes, They were my first cassette tape. My brother Mike gave it to me.
9. If you do/did like Collective Soul, are you ashamed of it?
Nope. I also like Live.
10. What's something you've never told anybody before? Ive never drove a van before.

9:54 PM

 
Blogger Shawn said...

1. Yes. Duh.

2. Betos breakfast burrito

3. It was a machine. I called it Nintendo.

4. Charles. Cause he's in charge.

5. As long as it hid my dong lines.

6. Yes. It's a word if you want it to be.

7. Jerry Falwell's

8. You bet your dick I liked Collective Soul

9. No.

10. I don't know how to drive a stick. And I don't know how to drive a golf ball. It always slices.

9:14 AM

 
Blogger Azúcar said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:08 AM

 
Blogger Azúcar said...

1. Yes, in fact, just like trannies who knew that they were girls deep, deep inside, in my head, I'm one year older.

2. I've thrown up so much in the last twelve months it's hard to remember exactly what made the return trip. I have refunded it all.

3. My Swiss neighbor knit a bear for me and used real koala fur for its ears and nose. I called him "Koala." Turns out koalas are really soft. We should kill more koalas for their fur.

4. While Fred Savage fully grown has an obvious physical advantage, I'm afraid that Charles in Charge gives off the stench of hair oil and advanced syphilus. Evil would win the day: Charles would walk away to terrorize our days and our nights.

5. Hot damn YES!

6. Yes. You're even balder than my baby.

7. Potsy from Happy Days.

8. I'll admit it, I liked Collective Soul for two months in 1994. Since that time I've learned that Collective Soul is, quite possibly, the worst band ever.

9. YES

10. You obviously don't know me, I tell everyone everything.

I'm no guest blogger
Don't consider me at all
More q's about me please

11:11 AM

 
Blogger more caffeine, please said...

1. Sadly, my stretch marks tell me I’ve matured to my childbearing age.

2. I threw up almost every day last year during my pregnancy. What was it? HELL.

3. No attachment. Unless you consider watching Super Market Sweep and The Price is Right every day an attachment.

4. Fred would win because just when Charles would be ready to deliver the final blow, Buddy would appear and @#$% it all up for him.

5. Yes, just like I said yes to the pea green dress to match your wife’s butter yellow dress at one wedding in particular.

6. Yes, yes and yes.

7. Sawyer’s.

8. The music or the band?

9. Again, the music or the band?

10. Ask Hailey, she knows everything.

11. I have mastitis
It hurts like a son of a
Collective rock star

9:57 PM

 
Blogger liam. said...

1. Do you consider yourself "Mature for your age?"
not particularly, but probably more mature than the age i look.

2. What was the last time you threw up, and what was it?
the last time i recall throwing up was last october. i got really drunk really fast, was riding to this girl's house with some other kids, fell out of the vehicle and threw up at said girl's husbands feet on their lawn while rambling on in german. i've only thrown up from alcohol twice ever; that was the second time. i honestly don't know what i was throwing up other than the alcohol.

3. Did you have a childhood attachment such as a blanket, pillow or favorite toy? If so, what did you call it?
i don't think so.

4. If TV's Charles in Charge were to find himself in an altercation with TV's Fred Savage, who do you think would win?
fred savage. i mean, come on! he's SAVAGE!

5. If you were asked to wear a hot pink dress to a wedding reception, would you accept said invitation?
if i was asked by the wedding couple themselves, yes.

6. Am I balder than you? And is balder a word?
yes, and i'm not sure, and i'm not going to check.

7. On the Lost season finale last week, whose funeral did Jack attend (albeit he was late)?
jill? did she tumble down the hill?

8. Do you (or did you) ever like the band, Collective Soul?
nope.

9. If you do/did like Collective Soul, are you ashamed of it?
not applicable.

10. What's something you've never told anybody before?
you think i'm going to tell you?

8:08 AM

 
Anonymous FooboyX said...

1. Do you consider yourself "Mature for your age?"

No. But I like sexy lady talk.

2. What was the last time you threw up, and what was it?

A couple of weeks ago. Betos.

3. Did you have a childhood attachment such as a blanket, pillow or favorite toy? If so, what did you call it?

No.

4. If TV's Charles in Charge were to find himself in an altercation with TV's Fred Savage, who do you think would win?

Baio carries a shiv. Baio.

5. If you were asked to wear a hot pink dress to a wedding reception, would you accept said invitation?

They'd let me wear my street clothes at a fancy event like that?

6. Am I balder than you? And is balder a word?

Yes. I have lots of hair. Lots.
Baldur is a word. He was a contemporary of Thor, Odin, and Loki.

7. On the Lost season finale last week, whose funeral did Jack attend (albeit he was late)?

Michael.

8. Do you (or did you) ever like the band, Collective Soul?

Yes.

9. If you do/did like Collective Soul, are you ashamed of it?

Not really.

10. What's something you've never told anybody before?

I'm fixed.

8:57 AM

 
Anonymous Ronaldo McDonaldo said...

1. I don't consider myself much of anything at all.
2. The last time I threw up was in 1987. I threw up 1986.
3. I had a priceless red japanese tea pot I called "Sofa King". That tea pot was Sofa King red and Sofa King priceless.
4. Fred Savage would cry to his Grandfather (TV's Columbo) about the Princess Buttercup while being mercilessly pummeled to death by Mr. In Charge.
5. Only if it matched the flowers.
6. To what part of your body are you referring? I cannot possibly answer this question without more pictures...
7. Jack attended John Locke's funeral, though John Locke will have changed his name by that point.
8. Collective Soul? More like Collective Crap.
9. The only shame I have ever felt was when I replied to this blog entry.
10. I choose not to participate in this silly facade of a game.

1:46 PM

 
Blogger ~j. said...

Very fun. Too bad I missed out on this audition (I was busy galavanting around New York and checking to see if my nearest available exit on the plane was behind me). I loved Jaime's post. Very sweet.

6:56 PM

 

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