Wednesday, October 05, 2005

At the risk of sounding over confident, I very well may have just revolutionized inter-office cookie transport, as we know it.

Allow me to illustrate. At my place of employment, my workstation is located adjacent from my friend and co-worker, Spennywhistle's. While I was eating my sack lunch (packed by the Mrs.) I noticed two cookies. Being the friend I am, I decided to offer the spare cookie to Spenny. Upon offering, he graciously accepted.

One problem. How was I to successfully and safely transport said cookie from my workstation to his?

Observe, the revolution.

Step 1

This illustration allows you to see the problem at hand. It's really just a classic case of "Point A. to Point B," with added, (and potentially lethal, mind you) consequences. Note the black chair at the end of my desk. While its creation was intended solely for human sitting practices, I looked beyond that shallow definition and saw greatness. I thought to myself, "For this chair shall no long be meager in its existence. No, it shall become something much greater. It shall become a vessel of transportation. The carrier of precious cargo." Dubbing it so, I placed the cookie on its plastic molded seat and positioned it for trajectory.

Step 2

Since nothing like this has ever been attempted in the science arena, I had not the crutch of research, and thus had to guess on the amount of thrust. Despite some minor issues, I guessed correctly.

Step 3

In the perfect world of science, the receiver would have had a better haircut, but given the circumstances, I'd say the receival was a success.

Step 4

Ahh, the tender rewards of science. Upon receival, Spennywhistle offered me a Hob Nob. I politely declined. Besides, I'm a man of science. I seek not worldly fame. I seek only to improve the world in which we live. I believe, once perfected, the Chair Transport will bring peace and understanding to those plagued by war and confusion.


Blogger Steve said...

That looks so good right now? Yo, someone toss me a cookie on a chair?

12:38 PM

Anonymous hamilton said...

I am daily amazed at your blogging skills. The ability to report minute details in an always humorous manner. It makes me feel content, though my life is less fulfilling, to see your life so wonderous and inspiring. Continue blogging young sire, continue blogging.

2:14 PM

Blogger more caffeine, please said...

Hailers packs you lunches? You have totally domesticated her. I love that gal.

8:36 PM

Anonymous elizabeth said...

i agree with hamilton, you should write a book full of your wittiness. it would make awesome pale.

7:23 AM

Blogger Emma said...

So your friend ate a cookie that had touched someone's ass...

7:48 PM


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