Friday, August 18, 2006

Once again, I enlist your help.

Since we're on the topic of public transportation, I thought I'd provide a visual aid to help emphasize the points made in my last entry. I believe said visual helps to support the "all walks of life ride the train" argument. But the real question here is, just how different are these people? Sure, their outward appearances sing striking disparity, but is there more to these books than just their covers? Please take a moment and offer your analysis on these three wayward commuters.


Blogger carblemarble said...

1-He just left a Treky convention where he met a great girl who equally enjoys body tatooing (only on the back)... He wears a white shirt to blend into the crowd with the other white undershirt Mormons. Right now he's reading a book on Klingon's and their powers.

2-Just finished a rock video with Wierd Al Yankovic... is the best father in the world. He's actually an Elders Quorum president, who's going to run home for a quick shower and then go Home Teaching.

3- Have you ever heard the quote "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse."? This guy is where that came from. He runs the mafia in the Great Salt Lake Valley. Right now you think he's reading the paper, but really, he's checking his palm to see the results of todays hit job. Be careful.

2:18 PM

Blogger ~j. said...

1 - He got back from his mission in late April. Just this morning, he picked up, and is reading, a pamphlet about PFLAG, and plans on telling his family by Thanksgiving.

2 - Had a RAWKIN time at the Journey/Def Leppard show the other night. Is singing Pour Some Sugar On Me to himself, which makes #1 uncomfortably alert of his surroundings.

3 - Reading the Church News or somesuch. He's on his way to meet his buddies, either for coffee or to go to the temple, but, sadly, is sitting on the wrong side of the waiting booth.

3:27 PM

Blogger Azúcar said...

1. F.G. can’t figure out how to tell his fiancée, his parents, and his best friend that he is gay. He’s lost in replaying the possible scenarios in his head, some days it works out well, some days everyone screams and yells. He is just hoping that tonight, when he gets home, he will find a note from his fiancée explaining that she’s left him to move to Seattle to find her old boyfriend, that he won’t have to tell her, and see that crumpled look on her face…
2. “I am going to NAIL the Andy Dick Look-alike contest!”
3. My wife, my children, will never understand if I try to explain. If I speak one word, the lies will tumble around me—us. I didn’t start out taking contracts, but when Doro was in the hospital with our third child and there were two hungry faces at home with me, I took the call from Rudolf, and ended a rat’s life.

9:34 PM

Anonymous BlueGirl said...

Actually, this is a normal family. Dad (#3) hasn't had an honest conversation with either son in 15 years. He doesn't know where he went wrong, and has lost hope that things will ever improve. #2 was an oppressed middle child, and has spent considerable effort to ensure that he is NOTHING like his lame "perfect brother" Wilfred. Wilfred (#1), thinks he's essentially flawless, and can't figure out how he got stuck in such a moronic family. Honestly! I mean, none of them was voted most likely to succeed by their senior class, or attended "the Harvard of the west", and ever had a shot at dating someone like Jazmin (YoWZa!). As if.

None of the family members really likes to be associated with the others...except for Mom (not pictured). She's extremely proud of Wilfred because he's always sucked up to her (to the annoyance of his siblings--one of whom lives in a commune in Connecticut and the other is a professional ice skater--he's actually out of the closet with his orientation, but Wilfred thinks by not acknowledging it the whole thing will just GO AWAY). But Wilfred secretly is annoyed by his mom, too, because screw her--SHE's not the one who rose to such lofty heights! And it ticks him off how she goes on and on about him to her friends. As if she had anything to do with his success. Sitting on her couch with one hand stuffed down that perpetual bag of Fronions watching Donahue re-runs all day. He'd actually like to cut ties with the lot of them, but so far lacks the courage to make it entirely on his own. And that's how mom managed to force him to go with his dad and brother to see the doctor about dad's condition. Of course it had to be he's stuck now baby! Here he is, trapped in family obligation hell...he hates his spineless self!

12:02 AM

Blogger Steve said...

#1 clearly works at Old Navy or American Eagle and gets an employee discount. His crossed legs appear shaved and his hair gel'd, showing he is quite in touch with his feminine side, which is a great quality for working at said clothing stores. He is reading the required book for his freshman English class at college next semester.

#2 is a beach bum from California that smoked far too much marijuana in his youth. Attempting to travel up the west coas, by the expression on his face he just realized he is in Utah and there is no ocean in Utah.

#3 just picked up his dinner jacket from the dry cleaners and is heading home to his wife of 50+ years who is now just as senile as he is. He has not yet figured out that his newspaper is upsidedown.

11:08 AM

Blogger Cardine said...

#1 - Rudolfo is on tour this summer. He and his friends came for holidays from Spain, and Rudolfo has always wanted to see the tabernacle choir. His friends all decided to sleep in their hotel room today. They weren't interested in temple square. He is reading a book about places to visit in The United States. Next stop: Las Vegas, baby!

#2 - His real name is Kenny, but his friends call him Kenny-five. He works with costuming for HBO and is in town getting ideas for the show, "Big Love." His career started on set of the movie "What's Up, Doc?" when he came up with the handbag that was so critical to the movie plot. Since that time, he has carried that lucky plaid handbag everywhere he goes, complete with some of Barbara's costumes, which he periodically puts on in private.

#3 - Phil was displaced by Katrina last year. He ended up on a plane that landed in Utah. He and his wife, Francis, decided to stay because the neighbors were so kind. Phil has been unable to retire, so he rides Trax everyday to work at the Wells Fargo downtown. Francis is a checker at the Albertsons in Sandy. They have a beautiful garden of azaleas and like to sit on their driveway in lawnchairs watching the kids pedal by on their bicycles.

3:05 PM

Blogger :: STEVE :: said...

I gotta say, you guys are very funny. Well played, all of you.

8:02 AM


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