Ladies and gentlemen. It is my privilege to introduce you to, quite possibly, the most powerful thing the interweb superhighway has ever seen. I call it, Google Portage. It's a simple game to play. Simply follow the instructions below and soon you'll be Google Portin' like it ain't no thang.

1. Find the last thing you googled.
2. Click on the "image" option (to search for images pertaining to said google search).
3. The first image that shows up is your number one.
4. To find your number two, simply type in the best two word descriptor you can think of regarding your number one.
5. Click search.
6. The first image that pops up in your number two.
7. Repeat until you reach your number five.
8. You must then e-mail your number five to your entire e-mail list, sans any explanation.
9. Sit back and bask. Maybe take your pants off or something. But definitely bask.


MY NUMBER ONE


MY NUMBER TWO


MY NUMBER THREE


MY NUMBER FOUR


And finally,
MY NUMBER FIVE


On second thought. I don't like this game. It's stupid. And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I don't want to e-mail intimate kith and kin a picture of a naked man o' heft. It's just a dumb game. Shut up already!