Sunday, February 25, 2007

For those of you who ride public transportation, you undoubtedly have an appreciation for the random.

Whilst mid train ride home, a peculiar man took a seat directly across from me. And even though he was wearing reflective Oakley Blades (knock-offs even), I could sense that he was staring directly at me. With his cassette walkman clenched tightly in his fist, he said, "You look like Robert Downey Jr." As I searched for a suitable response, he followed curtly with, "I meant it as a compliment." I managed a very uncomfortable, "Thanks."

So what say you, blogland? Was he right? Was he right and creepy? Was he wrong and creepy? Was he wrong and right? And creepy?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

More advertising show-and-tell.

This is an idea I recently hatched for Resolve High-Traffic Carpet Foam. Basically, large industrial-strength stickers would be produced and then placed over a single stripe in a crosswalk (near the side of the street). These stickers would be cleaned a couple times each day to ensure they stay nice and bright.

Friday, February 16, 2007

It has often been said of me that I am easily entertained.

While this post is not admitting to such foolhardy claims, the following has kept me fairly entertained this morning. You see, as a youth in rural Idaho, I was often overjoyed at the conclusion of a successful prank call. And now, as an "adult," I've found a way to reach a similar sense of satisfaction. I call it, VWNED (video + owned = vwned). It's simple really. All you have to do is follow these simple instructions.

1. Turn on isight (or whatever web cam you have).
2. Prepare your pose.
3. Invite a friend to view your camera.
4. Have your mouse positioned on the close application button.
5. As soon as your friend accepts invite, hit 'em with all you've got.
6. Quickly close application and yell "VWNED!"
7. Revel in the satisfaction that your image is frozen on their screen.

Guaranteed to provide hours of fun for the whole family. The following are a few of my recent VWNINGS.

The Thong Head
Always a classic. The Thong Head combines vintage bodily humor with sophistication and style.

The Romance Novel
Perhaps more subtle than most, The Romance Novel packs some serious punch.

The Slightly Challenged Tourist
Guaranteed to get a reaction. The magic is really in the lazy eye.

The Mad Bomber
Whoa Nelly! The startling Mad Bomber is perfect for quiet office settings.

Drunk Rubber Fingers
Should not be attempted by novice vwners.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

And now for some pillow talk.

Mrs. Happens and myself are sitting here watching the Grammy's. The following conversation just took place.

HAILEY: "Justin Timberlake is the only guy who can get away with wearing white shoes and a suit."

ME: "I can."

HAILEY: "No, you can't."

ME: "What group was Justin in anyway?"

HAILEY: "N'sync."

ME: "Is he the only one from that group that continued?"

HAILEY: "Well, Lance Bass turned gay."

*About three minutes of silence.

HAILEY: "I think Justin Timberlake is hot."

ME: *Cough*

HAILEY: "And Obama."

UPDATE: 10:19pm

HAILEY: "I think I could turn lesbian for Beyonce."

ME: "I've been told I look like Justin Timberlake."

HAILEY: "Ask all the women at your work tomorrow about Obama and you'll find out that I'm not alone."

ME: "I've been told I look like Justin Timberlake."

HAILEY: "Will you turn the lights off when you're done with the computer?"

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Giving credit where credit is due.

We've all heard the phrase, "going the extra mile," but what happens when the extra mile just isn't enough?

Sequins happen.

What was intended to be a routine lunch trip turned into a invaluable life lesson. A lesson that I now hold very near and dear to my heart. Sure, the owners of this Taco Time eatery on 800 South and State could have stuck to the interior design standards set by the corporate offices, but they chose to blaze their own trail. A trail that apparently involved a lot of home crafts, sewing, custom metal work and need to use virtually every color possible. Surely, a trail of dedication and passion.

Now, no trail worth blazing has ever been easy. And such is the case with this one. It seems that somewhere along the way, they became delusional. Perhaps lost. Maybe even scared. I can almost see the looks on their faces when they put the finishing touches on their sequin centerpiece, only to discover they had spelled "TACO TIHE." Oh, the devastation. But here's the real kicker. They didn't let that stop them. No, they forged ahead. They got creative. They turned that blasted H into a blessed M. Standing back to admire, I'm sure they thought proudly, "You can't even tell it's not a real M."

So it is with my head held high that I salute you, Taco Time on 800 South and State. You are an inspiration to anyone who wants to make their mark in this world.