Thursday, November 29, 2007

Last night I hung out with people who are way cooler than I'll ever be.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thankful, thankful, thankful.

Well, Thxgiving came and went. Here I am, packing up my suitcase for another month on the road. But whether I'm at home or away, I definitely have much thanks in my heart for all I have been given. I'm most thankful for Hailey. She has made everything else that I am thankful for in this life possible. She gave me two amazing little kids. She gave me confidence. She gave me courage. She gave me opportunity. She gave me smiles. And most importantly, seven and a half years ago, she gave me a chance. Ever since that day, my life has overflowed with gratitude.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Well, this ought to be fun.

So, here's the deal. It's the day before Thxgiving. The day commonly referred to as, "The Busiest Travel Day of the Year." As I write this, I'm waiting for a cab to pick me up and take me to LAX in hopes of being able to fly home to my family for the holiday. Something tells me this is going to be one heck of a day. Watch for real time updates via my Blackberry. And wish me luck. Here goes nothing.

UPDATE | 1:23pm
I made it into the terminal. When I arrived, the security line was nearly coming out the door. A good couple hours to get through it I'm sure. As I approached the line, the TSA Agent decided to inform me of an "alternate check-in that nobody knows about." Just back down that way, take a left and up the elevator to the next floor. I had nothing to lose. I walked down the hall, took the left and headed up the elevator. And wouldn't you know it, as the doors of the elevator opened, I stood before a mini little security check-in. It was glorious. Like a tall glass of lemonade after a week in the desert.

But as I ventured into the check point, I noticed something. Something that wasn't quite right. Yes, something was definitely amiss - the security agents were friendly. Suddenly, my mind filled with doubt. This wasn't a secret check-in. This was the entrance to a top-secret government human reaction testing facility. And once through the gates, I would become the subject of many physiological experiments - most of which would surely involve some form of probing.


I had already removed my shoes. My carry-on had already disappeared behind the curtains of the X-ray machine. I was helpless. I was doomed. This was it. This was the end. There I stood, shoulder squared to the security agency standing behind the detector door. With a uniform wave of his light blue rubber glove, he invited me through. I couldn't watch. I closed my eyes.

Suddenly, I hear the soft sound of a female woman.

WOMAN: I like your bag.

I opened my eyes. I was through security. My items were sitting in front of me in plastic bins. Everything seemed normal. Everything seemed fine. With my heart still racing, I put my shoes back on, gathered my things and proceeded to my departure gate. And while this seems like the exact same United terminal that I've been in many times before, I can't be too sure.

I saw a sale on light blue rubber gloves in the duty free shop.

UPDATE | 2:42pm
I'm boarding the plane. It appears to be real.

UPDATE | 2:54pm
I'm sitting next to a hippie girl with some really bad breath. I'm going to offer her a piece of gum.

UPDATE | 2:56pm
Gum offered. Gum accepted.

UPDATE | 2:59pm
The cabin doors were just closed. I must turn off my phone.

UPDATE | 5:50pm
I've landed in Denver. Aside from the snow on the ground and the sub zero temperatures, it looks familiar.

UPDATE | 6:21pm
I'm getting in my car. Hmph. Guess there really was no top-secret government thing going on. Just a good ol' fashioned, secret security check point. Go figure.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's official. I suck at blogging.

There was a time, oh yes, a time when the schedule of my life had a permanent opening for a blog entry. See a funny looking dude on the train on the way to work in the morning? Blog. Make a little slideshow video of going to lunch with some friends? Blog. Invent a new way to send a cookie to a coworker? Blog. Discover some totally awesome photos from a land time had forgotten? Blog.

So what's changed? Well, just over seven months ago, everything. The biggest change has been my lack of available time. And thus, the lack of blog updates. But, if I were able to blog as regularly as I used to, I fear the entries would all have painful similarities.

ENTRY 1: Hey blog land. I'm at work. Yes, I realize it's a Sunday evening. But, it's just cause there is a big pitch this weekend. It won't always be like this.

ENTRY 2: Hey bloggers. I'm at work. Yes, I realize it's 3:15am. But, it's just cause there is a big meeting tomorrow. It won't always be like this.

ENTRY 3: Hey blog friends. I'm at work. Yes, I realize it's a holiday. But it's just cause there is something due sometime soon. It won't always be like this.

ENTRY 4: Hey blog people. I'm at work. Yes, I realize Hailey is casually dating and has found a few serious prospects. But it's just cause there is a big pitch, a meeting, and something due sometime soon. It won't always be like this.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Celebrities blow sometimes.

So, I was supposed to record John Cusack today for some VW commercials I'm producing. His agent called and promised he would be at the studio at 4pm. I got everything set up for him so he'd be able to slip in, record, then slip out without any delays. After two hours of waiting for him to show up, I admitted to myself that I had been stood up.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

We came. We cruised. We ate. We got sunburned. We played Bingo. We left.

I'm sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale airport waiting to board a flight back to LA. Hailey has already taken off on her flight back to Denver. Needless to say, we had an absolute ball on the cruise. It was a vacation that both of us sorely needed. The ship was a lot of fun. Sometimes, a little too much fun. Just ask the couple who were in the cabin next to us. Hello!

I've prepared a quick little photoset for you to check out HERE

Since this was my first cruise, I didn't really know what to expect. Now that I am seasoned to the ways of the "Fun Ship," I feel it is my duty to divulge a few of my learnings.

1. The Electric Slide slid out the door a good ten years ago. But nobody told the folks at Carnival.
2. You never win at Bingo. Never.
3. People who shouldn't show any skin, almost always do. And it's unfortunate.
4. No matter how many pictures you take of my wife and I posing in front of an artificial backdrop, I won't pay $10.99 for an 8x10.
5. Don't let your wife go to Diamonds International.
6. Sunscreen washes off quicker in salt water.
7. If you have to wear a novelty t-shirt with some crude saying on it to demonstrate that you have humor and personality, you probably have neither.
8. There is a topless deck on Carnival. Avoid it at all costs.
9. Free soft serve ice cream machines are awesome.
10. If you are going to Snuba, be prepared to be made fun of.
11. If you are going to try to get it on whilst on a secluded beach, first make sure it is, in fact, secluded.
12. Being a "friend of Bill W" doesn't mean you are gay. It means you are a recovering alcoholic.
13. Always remember to reapply sun screen.
14. You can't overdose on Benadryl for sunburn. At least I don't think so.
15. Yes, Warm Chocolate Melting Cake is as good as it sounds.
16. The folks at Carnival discontinued updating their music collection in 1992.

There are many more, but I'll leave it at that. Feel free to add some learnings of your own in the comments section. All in all, we couldn't have had a better time. Reality will be a little more tolerable until this wears off.